The 60th Birthday Blues: How to become an (overstressed) spiritwalker

When life is so overwhelming

you can not cope,

what happens then?

Well, there is the post traumatic stress disorder response and that can become compounded (see: Judith Lewis Herman's book, Trauma and Recovery). Dissociation/panic "disorder" can become the order of the day.

But what occurs when life conspires to be so

klusterfucked

that your adrenals fail

but

- you MUST keep functioning and cannot afford going insane while being totally victimized -

WHAT THEN?

This is a measure of my life's state and the political reality in which we are living.

I am locating a creative solution to the IMPOSSIBLE in the only way my psyche can find with the resources available. I cannot afford to feel helpless and hopeless.

This ministry becomes something referred to in shamanic circles as

DREAM WALKING or SPIRIT WALKING.

I walk.

I rap

in rhythm and time.

I prophesize.

I read your hand and see who you are.

I'll guess your sign.

I hand you an angel card or a biscuit for your dog.

I ask you to pray.

I dance for your souls.

and why?

It is my "gift" from The Creator.

I have three massive ongoing traumatic issues and I bring them and get damned personal on this blog today as it is my sixtieth birthday and I have every single right to bring up THE TRUTH.

I wanted to have a semi sane dinner with my son tonight; yet instead I ate alone and was threatened with arrest TWICE today for merely trying to explain myself and stick up for my son.

I am burnt out and have become a spiritual entity, while having few REAL social supports to help me out. Yet, I am political and have a message. I am talented and can dance and sing. I dream ... on.

As we say in Minnesota: How come?

I was raised in a mixed race family. My mother (and I AM her daughter) kept my brother, Ronnie at a time such "things" were not the done thing. Despite a violent childhood, my elder brother and I were very close.

My mother was killed by my father, who committed suicide the same steamy day in July. It is my surmise he did this while in a black out. As children we went to live with my grandparents who were ritual abusers. No, they did not wear funny costumes. They were "nice": pillars of the community but people feared my grandfather and no one intervened. I left home at 15, taking my brother out of the end-of-the-line white family as quickly as I possibly could. Ronnie never lived with us.

I was a flower child/hippie during the 1960's. A conundrum I assure you. An original SDSer and I helped found the American Indian Movement, which grew out of the Minneapolis welfare rights movement.

I have been married and lost my eldest son. I've lived in high and low places. I am not going to publish my resume here, though. I just want you to understand the politics of this thang. I am firm believer in communication not CONTROL nor war.

My husband James Simson, Miles and I came to Canada as refugees in 1994 under the War on Drugs - and it took eight years for us to gain admittance, which was resolved as a Humane Compassionate Relief decision. This is the second longest immigration resolution in Canadian history; no NATO country is going to accept another nation's citizens as refugees. Trust me on that. Our final adjudicator was Alex Neve - who I unkindly refer to as Michael Never- who is the head of Canada's Amnesty International.

The "case" went through the appeals process and we lost there, too. By the time our number came up it was decided in Miles' best interest that we remain in Canada. Miles suffered extreme sexual abuse at the hands of his father and it was horrible to be removed from the United States as we had just gotten settled in and were doing really well when turfed out.

We lived in FEAR of the United States ever since. By the time the decision was made, we had been abandoned by my husband, James. This caused Miles to shutdown and resort to drug usage: he smoked tainted pot. Later, he turned to XTC for relief as he feared my death following an accident and he became a paranoid schizophrenic.

What brought us to this state of being summarily kicked out of the United States? I stood up for Leonard Peltier, the native activist to Senator Paul Wellstone. It is my profound belief that he and my ex-husband, Scott Borene, an immigration attorney colluded to have me thrown out. Not everyone wonderfulizes those two.

Two years ago I was given substandard housing by the City of Toronto following a disastrous affair whereby everything was thrown away: my son and I - who have no relatives here in Canada - had everything thrown away.

I took this substandard apartment because I followed the need to get out of the shelter system following a depressive/PTSD episode over this traumatic event. I applied for an immediate transfer two years ago as my chemical sensitivities just could NOT take the environmental impact. At that time I suffered SEVERE fibromyalgia and was overweight, despite having spent years doing yoga and being extremely flexible earlier. Yet, I was saved by a friend who helped me find orthomolecular medicene.

I continued the blogging I had begun: it was mostly on spiritual and health matters and I ran a group that numbered roughly 50 people called Earthlings Anonymous that aimed to find solutions to problems for seven generations in the future.

To my astonishment, an "Anonymous" commentator began to appear with regular "private" comments and I followed the suggestions made to me to the letter.

I was given information on Blackwater, Infragard, war crimes, and all manner of US political information. I followed instructions to the letter. I was a good investigator and found out much and my blog was a smash success many days.

It was suggested to me in the secret comments that I was Canada's newest member of the International Criminal Court and that I should expect deep Canadian support for what I was doing; I was picked because I was "special." I assumed I would go The Hague and have a nice plump salary!! Yeah, right. War crimes HAVE been committed and I do know much about them. But if you saw my life today you'd wonder where I EVER got that idea !!

(And let this be my first statement that ALWAYS get real evidence before you ever believe anything, as the evidence clearly does not support that anonymous assertion. A similar claim was made to me via International Clearinghouse online by this same poster that my "case" regarding my illegal expulsion from the United States was being investigated by the Department of Justice.)

During this entire time, my house was being regularly invaded by stalkers and a mysterious person(s) who took things at night. I thought that it was some sort of alphabet souper (ya know, CIA, CSIS or something) - but it was cigarettes, bras, and then LARGE sums of money that would disappear. Sometimes I would have to go over to my son's house to get supplies and walk many miles. I socially as I knew I was being followed and surveilled, particularly by Blackwater.

Last year, things got SO fraught that I tried to commit suicide on my birthday because the walker I had been promised was taken away and not one single birthday card arrived. This resulted in my THIRD near death experience - a phenomena that adds import to what is to follow.

Fortunately, my son and an online friend caught it and my life was saved.

Meanwhile the psychiatric reports and specialist opinions continued to pour in that I NEEDED to move out of this unhealthy environment. I was in physical pain and I dissociated.

During this entire time, my house was being regularly invaded by stalkers and a mysterious person(s) who took things at night. I thought that it was some sort of alphabet souper (ya know, CIA, CSIS or something) - but it was cigarettes, bras, and then LARGE sums of money that would disappear. Sometimes I would have to go over to my son's house to get supplies and walk many miles. I would go to the police and complian long and hard.

In my son's police district I spoke to them about prosecuting George W. Bush and spoke to the District Attorney about it not knowing that this approach had been tried before.

I walked the streets handing out cards about my blog to get support.

I was promised help getting to the Andover War Crimes Conference by my local MP's office. I sold hundreds of copies of the Bugliosi book: yet since I could not raise $20,000 to set up an office and meet our needs I have never received much more than a few paltry donations and no commission on the sale of the book. I invited them to come to a Town Hall I had to put on myself after other arrangements fell through at my own expense. Peculiar, I have NEVER met the local MP yet.

However, this town hall never materialized. I had spent my own money trying urgently to get a town hall preparation meeting in order through the local Native Friendship Centre. However, at the last minute on TWO occasions they were abruptly cancelled. This was to provide funds for me and another law student to travel to Massachusetts. I was threatened by the head of the Centre, a Mr. Larry Frost. There is a key to the blog which could net the native community money AND the sales of the book at the event would have added to their coffers.

In the end one of my fellowship friends helped me get the money by saying I had moved into her apartment and I went to Andover alone.

When I got there I was shocked that Jordan J. Paust did not attend. I was sure he knew about my blog. I believed "testing" was NOT W. Richard West and he was not going to attend. I still do not know who that individual is; but I assure you that the assertion that my "back is covered" is certainly not true. The Robert Jackson Conference was extremely important and I am proud that I attended. But as a nonregistered participant I get no updates and none of the materials.

Instead when I came back, the crap began hitting the fan. My son was in a hospital and the police would not tell me where he was. Since then, he has been in three hospitals and none of them the correct one !! He has been formed, arrested and I have been humiliated publically by these hospitals and I could not get anyone to help me sue them for their misconduct.

I have been in total distress. I have been attacked physically five times in the past six months.

The man who claimed to be a Special Forces officer and an ally turned out to be the local crack dealer and he has threatened me on several occasions. No one arrests HIM, but they do my son.

Yes, I have even called Centre for the Victims of Torture for help. I have asked for therapeutic support. Even from senior's groups. None of it is forthcoming. It's been six months of attrition of anything approaching normalcy or legality !!

The disability people have treated me horribly and I went without electricity for a long time. My neighbors have thrown my belongings away !! My friends are horrified at the conditions in my apartment and don't come back.

Due to the theft of all my property two years ago and the fact that the US did not mail back my passport after I applied, the blog cannot accept donations even if they are made.

I have not gotten my $14,000 plus in back US taxes nor the nearly $2,000 I paid out in cab fares back so I am stuck in the apartment with the mouse shit even now !!

I have called the local City Councillor numerous times about my problems; he does nothing and I have filed an official complaint against the local police department.

I have found out James has died so there is no way to appeal to him for assistance. Further, my law suit against Scott has failed because I cannot prove he owes me money, but he does.

No lawuist has gone up against Sunnybrook nor St. Joseph's hospital, who are guilty under Canada's Mental Health Act of violating both Miles and my rights.

I now suffer extreme traumatic arthritis from the physical attacks I took from Miles and the crack addict.

I have become extremely interested in the symptomology that the war crimes have produced here in our cities, though.

The synthesis of urban decay, military keynesianISM, the fiscal crisis and people's responses is key. We must be prepared for what is ahead and Dmitri Orlov has said it best. People must not self medicate with drugs and alcohol to avoid facing what is going to happen very soon in our suburbs and urban areas.

But there are solutions and I have been proposing them to everyone that I can. These include using Shipping crate container buildings/solar energy to rebuild our city housing; this will eliminate the homelessness. And our spaces must be better utilized. To this end I say I will run against our local City Councillor during my "raps": it only costs $200 to run. And I could pay it all in pennies. But Dreamwalkers make horrible politicians although we have our fingers right on the pulse. I feel I have become an urban minister, but the pay is zilch and the energy expended enormous, but I had to do something while I cannot get get Miles released !!

Would I really run for office? I'd have to get Canadian Citizenship and to my surprise I don't have it and only found out when applying for a Canadian passport.

HOPES AND DREAMS

Instead of being a member of the International Criminal Court, I might become a participant in Voices from the Street, if I am fortunate. I certainly understand the issues of mental health, addiction and homelessness in a very deep mannner. I do wish I could have capitalized on some celebrity coming up to Toronto, particularly Vincent Bugliosi, but this never materialized.

So my three traumas: getting Ontario Disability to live up to their mandate and give me my cab funds; getting Toronto Housing to get me transferred and give me a hearing which is now two months overdue; and then to get the police department and Toronto City Housing to due its duty against CRIMINALS. Miles is owed $100,000 in back social security and the doctors don't let him out to collect it nor even get his disability allowance money !! So we live in dire straights which is totally INSANE.

Find housing with social supports and a chance to grow things, have a dog and go back to school if Voices does not work out.

I want my eldest son to realize he is NOT recovering and that the restraining order he put out on me after not seeing me or his brother for fourteen years is mean and cruel. I want to meet my grandchildren. I worked very hard to give him the opportunities and blessings that make his life extremely comfortable financially. I have post traumatic stress and am not a "mental case" as he insists.

Is it too much to ask??? I think I have at least another 30 years to accomplish some of this.

* S * P * I * R * I * T *

W * A * L * K * I * N * G

I am your sister.

Please treat me as such.

You would not want your sister treated this way.

Don't take the spirit out if spirituality.

I ride the Zuvuya for you.

Remember: what happened to me could happen to anyone who faces an orphaned existence.

How many tears can this old woman cry?

Yet only kindness to others can help me out.

Widowed, orphaned and homeless now.

Knowing we are all ONE fellowship, really.

My name is Virginia:

remember my name.

How can they arrest my vulnerable son and yet let the real criminals go free?

Megweetch for reading

This was the saddest birthday I have ever had, really.

I want my son restored to sane living and a chance to have real therapy not poison thrown down his throat .

I want to have sane, deep social contacts outside that horrible building.

Your friend,

Many Rivers
Dharam Kaur

Who dances the message into your palm:

Mitayake Oyasin

Today's GREAT rant

“I don’t know if it’s God we have murdered; I don’t think that is possible. But capitalism has killed compassion. In a society which only worships the dollar, those who aren’t potential income generating units have no value. None.”

by Rebecca Gibson

7/20/08

“…..What more does man want to know, than that the hand or power that made these things is divine, is omnipotent? Let him believe this, with the force it is impossible to repel if he permits his reason to act, and his rule of moral life will follow of course.”

—Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason

I don’t know if it’s God we have murdered; I don’t think that is possible. But capitalism has killed compassion. In a society which only worships the dollar, those who aren’t potential income generating units have no value. None. Children, the elderly, the disabled, the disenfranchised, the damaged….there is no one to care for them as everyone who could be compassionate and offer care -(we the prey)- are busting our asses just to eat and keep a roof over our heads as the wealth of society gets sucked up by greed and extravagance for the feckless few.

So how do the incapacitated live? What is their value, and why is that even a question? What has happened to mercy and humility, compassion and charity? So many of the incapacitated are casualties of the status quo in the first place - a botched surgery or birth, a drug reaction, heart disease and diabetes and obscene obesity from eating grease and garbage, cancer from chemicals, Alzheimer’s from aluminum, insanity from insanity, the list goes on and on. It has all been co-opted by capitalism: nursing home corporations are publicly traded commodities - rife with enough requisite bureaucratic red tape to keep individual do-gooders (those pesky charity types!) out of the business, community mental health centers and hospitals are just trying to turn a profit, and the care and education of children has been relegated to the same wage-bracket as a garbage collector. In none of these endeavors is there anything more than lip-service to the idea of actual ‘quality of service’, despite the exceptional individuals who do care and try.

I find myself wondering, when I venture out into neon ugly-world, when did it all turn so hideous? I heard this old sixties song recently, Cat Stevens’ ‘Peace Train’, and I thought wistfully, tears in my eyes, ‘Wow, music from the time of hope…’ and I realized in that moment that the time of hope was gone. In 2008 most people hope that the stock market will recover, that they won’t lose their job or home, or that they will be the first one to get a new iPhone. Hope for such “utopian trivialities” as beauty or peace or justice is all but dead.

I get bashed in society for ‘feeling’, but I do feel, and mostly I feel sadness and despair. I am not depressed. I’m just devastated by what I see. I love life, the Earth, people, creatures, flowers and fish. And I grieve over all the unnecessary suffering.

I despair over the question, “what can one person do?” Especially when I am in debtors prison with the rest of the ‘common people,’ changing careers as I am from therapist to teacher–in order to take advantage of the new ‘10-year public service loan forgiveness’ program for my student loans, a form of indentured servitude, institutionalized with a benevolent facade. It’ll be costing me $200k or so to repay the $38k I borrowed so many years ago (And yes I have always worked—even when I was in school). My first job after college in 1989 paid 16k/year, and I had a baby to care for. I’ve paid 18k, but the balance is now over 100k. Oh well. Somebody’s gotta feed the monster, and it’s just capitalism kibble, right? That’ll teach me to get a degree in Human Services—right?

(And by the way, I know you’re tired of hearing about my student loans, but I am also tired of hearing about your vacations in the Hamptons and your ailing portfolios, so fuck you, OK?)

Overall, I feel very fortunate, looking forward to a new challenge, a way to be of service. The finer things in therapy, those I loved, have mostly disappeared anyway. The human potential movement has died. Now it’s Big-Pharma and ‘life-coaching’, which teaches how not to feel anything and to get your own big old slice of capitalism pie. (Neither of these worked for me though because I was cursed with a conscience.)

The most grievous aspect of therapy today is the military’s treatment of all these kids/soldiers with PTSD. The approach is not to heal them, but rather to desensitize them to war, using specially designed video games and antidepressants to get them back out on the battlefield. “What are you whining about? Get back out there and kill someone!” It is so twisted it makes me want to scream.

The “official” reporting on the “problem” gives these stats: 2 out of 5 will come back from war with symptoms of PTSD, and these only include the guys (and gals) who are labeled as having the “problem.” As a therapist and a human being, I am more concerned about the 3 out of 5 who can go to war and be unaffected, be okay with it, and be ready to go back for more. Isn’t war supposed to be hell?

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I had already realized, though, that as a therapist I was only treating the victims of the ones who are really sick, the human beings who comprised the “collateral damage” of aggressive capitalism’s predatory creepiness (imposed on my poor, middle, and working class clients by the sociopaths comprising the power elite). Savage capitalism and all of its metastasized tumors gone ape shit and amoral, sucking the life, light and beauty out of people, taking over their DNA and hijacking their thought-processes altogether. Damaged people, people damaged by other people, damaged relationships, depression and despair. I specialized in stress, pain, trauma and addiction.

Despite everything, including a little chip on my shoulder, a bit of damage myself, emotional scars, and a debt-monkey on my back, I cling tenaciously to hope, to the beauty of life, tirelessly coaxing these gossamer filaments of grace in my direction, wrapping them around me and weaving them back into the world, rearranging my screams of horror into a symphony of service, sacrifice, simple kindness, poetry, and the soothing of others. That is just what I do. Seeing, creating space, holding a space, a bubble of grace, the whole of the horrors here, yes, but held in abeyance by the liquid light exuded from these fine gossamer threads.

The ugliness and brutality of the world demand acknowledgment. I see it; yes, I do. I feel it; yes, I do. Ever present, it affects me too. A hideous blight on the otherwise beautiful countenance of this sparkling blue planet, man-made horror mostly, but life on earth does present some innate challenges for our species - the daily grind of existence, food, clothing, and shelter. Birth and death, weather and worms, disease and decay, it is a little gritty and no one is exempt. Community and cooperation for the common good are essential. We cannot survive otherwise. We are a we, I am an us, even isolated, membership in the tribe of humanity is an inherent fact of existence.

Years ago…..an infusion of light and grace and beauty when I needed it most. The veil of illusion, the illusion of separateness, receded in soul-drenching light, and I saw and experienced the unity of life directly. I have never forgotten. Light-love-life, the source and the substance of all manifestations, each individual an expression of that same light - the same light! - shining through different windows. All creatures, plants and trees, elements and ethers, made and manifested from that light. Feel it! Tiger as tigerness, a spider spinning its web, the cycle of life in water and wind, and the weightiness of rocks. The same mysterious essence churns an ugly bulb into an iris, converts your meals into memories and muscles, beats your heart, grew you in your mother’s womb. We are we. The mystery. The same light shines, but, oh, are some windows darkened!

The dark and the light. The dark is no reality unto itself, it is an absence, an obscuration of light, an alteration of light - pride and greed, lust and anger, envy, gluttony, sloth -the classics, the seven Deadlies, always (s)in fashion as light-darkening window shades. Ignorance. Cruelty. Judgment. (I’m judging here.) Selfishness. Subjugation, domination and the ruthless games that people play with power. The light and the darkness. Murder as entertainment. A beautiful child indoctrinated, poisoned by brutality and war and the sick sad saga of humanity’s struggles, twisted and distorted, hurting in and hurting out again.

A miracle and a triumph that any beauty remains, for the darkness is always exerting its influence, claiming its real estate, declaring it’s own autonomous existence. When in reality it is a phantom and nothing more, an absence of the real, a nothing. This is why it evaporates in the light. It is here but it isn’t really anything and it isn’t separate and it doesn’t exist. It is an absence of actual existence. All is light, that is all there is…om mani padme hum - bhargo devasya dhimahi. The dark is the light diminished, obscured. I seek the light which contains the darkness; I welcome it, draw it in, embrace it, brighten the light all around me with each precious breath and wrap the gossamer filaments around the Earth, trailing it off of my long wing feathers as I fly.

I am us and we are we and I wish light into the heart of every human. That light can stop you in your tracks if you let it in and I wish you would. That light can kill you and give birth to you in a moment, a timeless flash. It happened to me. That light is who we are. Wake up people! See the light! Wish light into the heart of every person and into the heart of the earth herself. Shine enough light to eradicate this darkness, render it benign, render it what it is, a simple shadow. This light is who we are! It isn’t enough to seek the spotlight for yourself, to seek you and yours at any cost. You seek survival with convoluted compromises, death traps, dripping darkness. Survival at the expense of another is not survival. We are we. Is it so hard to see?

Is it too much to say, “I, for one, will not seek survival at the expense of another?” (The true spirit of humanity requires that we seek survival for one another. Are we about to learn this the hard way? And I know, I know that if you are even reading this I am preaching to the choir…but you can weave the light! Weave it!)

To survive we need one another. Man needs a family, community, a tribe - air and water and earth. For the first time in history it has become obvious that the tribe is global. It’s all of us, everyone. We are we. Wish light into the heart of your so-called enemy, light, survival, comfort and peace to his family and yours, mine and hers. To all of us. Be the we. C’mon people, be the we!

For the sake of your own survival, you and yours, us and ours, and them and theirs, all of us, all of the species of the earth, it isn’t really so hard to say:

“I will not earn my living selling chemical and preservative-laden corn-syrup water to people, especially children, or dangerous and harmful Big-Pharma drugs peddled with lies and falsified research, or food that is nothing more than garbage and poison and GMO science-fiction. I will not work for a company whose profits depend upon the exploitation of sweatshop labor in Sri Lanka or Singapore or South America, or the devastation of much-needed forests all over the world, and I will not combine my efforts with greed-mongers, warmongers, murderers, and/or perverts. I will not work in a field that has anything to do with plastic, as the puddle of it in the Pacific is frighteningly large already, and I also mean plastic as in credit cards, other debt traps and plastic surgery for the sake of vanity alone. (And by the way my whole fucking refrigerator is full of plastic containers and it makes me sick. Can’t someone who knows this stuff find another way?) I will never work in advertising (consumer seduction) or commercial mainstream journalism-as-entertainment. I will do something better. I will find another way. This is killing me/us/we. So be it. I will find another way. I will be the we.”

Think of a better idea, one that helps others (and thus you too) to survive and thrive. Your own survival depends on it. So does mine. You can do this. If you will do this there are those of us who will help you; love will grow and become light for us all. Wish the light, think it and it’s yours because it is you, waft it around, and with each breath breathe it deep into the heart of humanity. They are you and they are me and you are us and we are we. Grab the gossamer threads of light and beauty and grace, get busy and don’t let them go. I need you. You are me and we are we. We need all of us to be whole and free. Tat Tvam Asi.

Think about it. That is the gift of the mind. When you or I hear about someone making a difference, it always began with just one person and one idea. Visualize that little cartoon light-bulb flashing on over that one head, yours, mine or someone else’s. Anyone. Everyone. Illumination. Enlightenment. A bright idea. It’s the idea, that infusion of light. Infuse the light. Weave it in. Wish it into the heart of humanity. Wrap it and weave it around the earth. It is our responsibility and our essence and our birthright. Breathe it. Fan the flames. Breathe as if you are the breath and heartbeat of life and all that is, for you are, and I am. You are me and we are we. I love you. Breathe it in. Be the we.

Peace Train by Cat Stevens

Now I’ve been happy lately,
thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be,
something good has begun
Oh I’ve been smiling lately,
dreaming about the world as one
And I believe it could be, some day it’s going to come

Cause out on the edge of darkness,
there rides a peace train
Oh peace train take this country,
come take me home again
Now I’ve been smiling lately,
thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be, something good has begun

Oh peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Come on now peace train
Yes, peace train holy roller
Everyone jump upon the peace train
Come on now peace train
Get your bags together,
go bring your good friends too
Cause it’s getting nearer,
it soon will be with you
Now come and join the living,
it’s not so far from you
And it’s getting nearer,
soon it will all be true
Now I’ve been crying lately,
thinking about the world as it is
Why must we go on hating,
why can’t we live in bliss
Cause out on the edge of darkness,
there rides a peace train
Oh peace train take this country,
come take me home again
And finally:

“One way or another, we are poised at the edge of forever.”

–Carl Sagan, in ‘Cosmos’

Empathy deficit disorder -- do you suffer from it?

By Amanda Robb

(OPRAH.com) -- I swear on the "Thelma & Louise" video we watched into a scratchy oblivion: I didn't mean to be the worst friend ever. When Lisa -- my roommate and boon companion of three years --stepped into our apartment, sank to the floor, and clutched our cocker spaniel, I asked, "What's wrong?" with sympathy.

"I got fired," Lisa told me.

"Wow." I pulled her to her feet. "You'll have an amazing story for Jim's party tonight!"

Lisa's eyes went round and wet as the dog's when we left her at the vet. She said, "Come on, Maya" (who gave me a reproachful glance before obeying), disappeared into her bedroom (for three days), and never discussed career matters with me again.

Boy, was I annoyed. At age 26, I was a sublime friend. Lisa, also 26, was blessed to have an ally so honest about dates and hairstyles, so fiercely supportive of her dreams, and willing to defend her choices (the dates, hairstyles, and dreams) to her habitually nettling mom and dad. Never once in our relationship, I was proud to think, had I ever even been tempted to commit a single mortal friendship sin: being competitive, gossiping, or backstabbing.

To me, Lisa's job loss was no big deal. She had complained about the position. Her parents were rich and gave her money. She had nothing to worry about. I thought that reminding her we had something fun to do that night was an appropriate and kind response.

Psychologist Douglas LaBier, Ph.D., director and founder of the Center for Adult Development in Washington, D.C., disagrees. He explained to me that my dearest friend was humiliated by receiving a pink slip, feared she might be incompetent at everything she tried, and, because of me, felt utterly alone. I was, LaBier tells me, "catastrophically unempathetic" to Lisa.

At the heart of many problems

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Today, 15 years later, I know why my attempt at consoling my friend was so ham-fisted. As LaBier explains, virtually everyone learns the basics of empathy in childhood (from our parents comforting us when we're in distress), but my father died when I was 4, and afterward my mother had to be very can-do, juggling three jobs, graduate school, and two kids. When I was upset, she never said, "Oh, I'm sorry. It must be hard to have me away so much after losing your dad."

Instead, on good days, she'd say, "Why are you crying? Nothing is wrong." And on bad days: "You'd better toughen up because life can get a lot worse." Looking back at my 20-something self, I realize that if, as LaBier says, empathy is "the ability or the willingness to experience the world from someone else's point of view," I wasn't brought up to be able to do that.

At least my lack of empathy was not unusual. Having practiced as a psychotherapist for 35 years, LaBier believes that what he calls empathy deficit disorder (EDD) is rampant among Americans.

LaBier says we unlearn whatever empathy skills we've picked up while coming of age in a culture that focuses on acquisition and status more than cooperation and values "moving on" over thoughtful reflection. LaBier is convinced that EDD is at the heart of modernity's most common problems, macro (war) and micro (divorce).

When Lisa crept into her bedroom, I couldn't have articulated any of this. She might have felt abandoned, but all I knew was that I felt alone. My roommate had her dog, and they were both shunning me, and my boyfriend of four years wouldn't rescue me from the loneliness I increasingly felt by agreeing to get married. I went into psychotherapy.

Faking it a step to becoming empathetic

I thought my therapist would help me break up with my commitment-phobic lover, figure out how to choose less sensitive friends, and, of course, let me rant about my mother's shortcomings. I did get to rant -- about my mom, Lisa, and my boyfriend.

What surprised me was my therapist's response to these tirades. She never said, "Leave that rotten bastard." Or "Your roommate is a big baby." Instead she said, "Gosh, that sounds really hard." And, "That must have felt terrible." And, "How did you feel after that happened?" My reaction to those spectacularly bland comments was even more astonishing. I loved them.

"These very simple responses make you feel understood," says New York psychologist Frank M. Lachmann, Ph.D., author of "Transforming Narcissism: Reflections on Empathy, Humor, and Expectations."

He points out that many of the common responses -- "It could be worse"; "You should do X"; "Let's talk about something else" -- appear to be kind and aimed at soothing. But no matter how well intentioned, Lachmann says, these remarks are a rejection, a denial, of what the other person is going through. "They are code for 'Don't confront me with things that are unpleasant,'" he says. "Or 'Don't bother me with your pain.'"

About six months into psychotherapy, I started using what I thought of as my therapist's "lines."

When Lisa was offered a job at an organization she did not want to work at, I said, "Oh, that's a tough spot to be in." When my boyfriend was invited to study abroad, I said, "How do you feel about that?" What I really felt was: "Lisa, that job pays a ton of money, but I guess you can turn it down because your parents are loaded." And, "You selfish bastard, I'll kill you if you go to Europe without me."

Still, Lachmann says, I had taken the first step to becoming empathetic -- which is faking it. If you want to act more empathetic, you follow certain steps: Instead of telling people what they ought to do or becoming tyrannically optimistic, you offer sympathy, inquire about feelings, and validate those feelings. You'll be giving comfort to the other person, even if you yourself can't feel what they're going through.

It's true that for a long time, while I could say the appropriate thing, I could not relate to their struggles. Still, I took satisfaction in the fact that my relationships were improving. Then a year after starting therapy, I began feeling something intensely when comforting friends: terror.

This turned out to be a signal, Lachmann says, that I was actually feeling empathy.

Final insult

I didn't recognize it because I'd always run from emotional discomfort -- and, at least in the beginning, I found trying to be empathetic profoundly uncomfortable. Most of the time, I managed to avoid the impulse to blurt out unhelpful suggestions to my friends -- "Happy hour, anyone?" Or, "Here's the number for a credit consolidator!" -- and instead say the appropriate thing. But for years and years, I could stand genuine empathy only five minutes at a time.

For those five minutes, though, I was not alone. And once I had experienced the wonder of that, I was willing to stumble out of my comfort zone to try to be not alone again.

Virtually everything I have ever tried to improve about myself -- my weight, my sleep habits, my housecleaning -- has resulted in an endless seesaw of improvement. But empathy, I've learned, is not like dieting. (Or, at least, how I diet, which involves ending up back at square one.) Cultivating empathy has its own rewards: The more you do it, the better your relationships are and the more you want to continue.

Feeling understood in that therapist's office taught me that human beings are not doomed to be alone -- and empathy is life's connective tissue. If you have a romantic partner, he or she will someday believe that you are entirely wrong about something, and if you can see the problem from your partner's point of view, you'll be able to get through that conflict without smoldering in the corner or splitting up.

If you work with someone you despise (and who despises you back), and you try to understand why that person dislikes you, then you stand a chance of not hating every minute with her at the office. If you live in a world that you would like to see less divided by ethnic, economic, and religious strife, you'll find that attempting to comprehend the needs of your sworn enemies is a prerequisite to any meaningful action you can take.

Empathy will also require you to get past rationalizations and admit wrongdoing.

For about a decade after I started working to be more empathetic, I told myself that I hadn't hurt Lisa too badly because she never told me I had. But Lachmann points out that the final insult of being treated with a lack of empathy is that the hurt person usually can't complain. "If you say, 'That was such an unempathetic thing to say,' it can easily be heard as, 'Feel sorry for me.' And no one wants to be pathetic." So most people don't say anything, Lachmann says, and relationships "are often ruptured and ruined."

Lisa and I are no longer close. We live on opposite coasts. We have very different lives. But still, I couldn't bear the idea of us being "ruptured and ruined." I recently called her and said I was sorry for being selfish when she lost her job. I said I had eventually learned that it must have been a terrible time for her and that I had made it worse by leaving her so alone with all her confusion. Lisa was gracious ("You did your best"), forgiving ("Really, you were a wonderful friend to me overall"), and honest ("It was 15 years ago, and I'm over it now"). She changed the subject, and we caught up on our summer plans.

Her family -- along with the cocker spaniel, Maya, who was still alive and giving reproachful looks -- was planning a camping trip. Packing up, Lisa realized none of her jeans fit. Her pregnancies had stripped every curve from her body. She was skinny as a post. I began to wail,

"Oh my God, you lucky rat! I gained 10 pounds ... "

But then I stopped myself. "Um. So how does it feel to have to buy new jeans?" I asked.

There was a silence on the line. Then Lisa started laughing. "Wonderful," she said. "Absolutely wonderful."

By Amanda Robb from "O, The Oprah Magazine," April 2008

US war vets case to go to court tomorrow

Distressed war veterans get day in court

By Adam Tanner

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Veterans of the U.S. wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and elsewhere who say they have systematically been denied proper medical care will get their day in federal court starting on Monday in San Francisco.

The lawsuit before a judge in U.S. District Court for Northern California claims the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs was unable to deal with the growing number of post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, cases emerging from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

"Unless systemic and drastic measures are instituted immediately, the costs to these veterans, their families, and our nation will be incalculable, including broken families, a new generation of unemployed and homeless veterans, increases in drug abuse and alcoholism, and crushing burdens on the health care delivery system and other social services in our communities," the suit said.

Some of those in the suit say they have suffered from PTSD for many years, even before the most recent wars highlighted the fate of many Americans who served in difficult combat abroad.

Those saying the VA failed them include Barbara Bachmeier, 54, who reports she was sexually harassed and raped in South Korea in the 1980s while working in military intelligence for the U.S. Army, and then received insufficient care.

"I was having all these various flashbacks and nightmares," the Alaska resident said in an interview. "But the VA does not want to pay disability payments unless they really have to."

"Their attitude is not what can we do to help you," she said, explaining she once considered suicide. "It was very difficult to navigate the VA system."

In proceedings that could last through May 1, the court will hear testimony not from former service members such as Bachmeier, but from administrators and officials involved in the system.

"He (the judge) can't actually make decisions about individual issues and while having a veteran talking about their individual experiences is emblematic of the problem, it's not particularly useful for the judge because he needs to hear about systemic problems," said Kasey Corbit, one of the lawyers for the plaintiffs.

U.S. Justice Department lawyers declined to discuss the case, but in a filing last Monday said the VA procedures had stood the test of time.

"Their attempt to force VA to overhaul its entire benefits systems under penalty of contempt must fail," defense lawyers wrote. "The specific remedies sought by plaintiffs are not within this Court's authority to grant."

Plaintiffs are hoping the judge will order broad changes in the administration of veterans' benefits or perhaps even appoint an outside administrator to oversee changes.

"We are hoping that there will be a few measures implemented pretty quickly such as immediate treatment of suicidal victims," Corbit said.

(Reporting by Adam Tanner; Editing by Mary Milliken and Eric Walsh)

The connections - violence and torturegate!!

"The link between intimate violence in the home and the international violence of terrorism and war is as tightly bound together as the fingers of a clenched fist."

Riane Eisler

Violence, it seems, has become a worldwide epidemic. We are bombarded by stories of inhumanity and violence daily by the media. We are aghast at stories of children shooting children in the US, women being stoned for showing an arm in the Middle East and even genocide the world over. Is this who human beings are? Are we doomed to a future of violence and given our technological capabilities, a brutal and cataclysmic end?

The answer is no. Anger and violence may be written into our genetic code, but so are compassion, empathy and caring. We have a choice, both personally and globally.

The challenge we face in creating the peaceful and compassionate world we want is to understand and rid ourselves of the mechanisms and systems that hold violence in place.

Riane Eisler, nearly a victim of Nazi genocide as a child, has spent a life time studying the question of man's inhumanity to man, and woman. Her multidisciplinary approach has led her to an understanding of the social systems that create and maintain cultures of violence. Looking at a larger picture made it possible to see patterns or connections that were not visible before. Underlying the many differences in societies, both cross-culturally and through human history, are two basic social configurations, the dominator model and the partnership model.

In societies adhering closely to the dominator model, we find top-down authoritarianism (strong-man rule), the subordination of one half of humanity to the other, and a high degree of institutionalized or built-in violence, whether in the form of wife and child beating or in the form of warfare. Moving toward the partnership side of the spectrum we see a more democratic organization, economically as well as politically. Both halves of humanity are equally valued, and stereotypically feminine values such as caring and nonviolence (which are considered "unmanly" in the dominator model) are highly regarded, whether they are embodied in women or men. We also see a less violent way of living. (We see this most highly developed today in the Scandinavian world, but there are trends in this direction worldwide.)

While changing society might seem beyond the reach of one concerned individual, remember that society is a human invention partly inherited from our dominator past and partly built on the sum of individual relationships. Not only can you change your own relationships in a partnership direction, your voice for change can be as loud as you choose it to be.

The main determination for whether a society adheres primarily to a dominator or partnership model is intimate relationships. It is in the family that we first learn either respect and caring for others or that violence and fear can get us what we want. It is between parents and children that either domination or partnership are passed to the next generation. It is for this reason that CPS has become one of the first sponsors of (SAIV) Spiritual Alliance to Stop Intimate Violence. We invite you to be come a member and add your voice to this important stepping stone. For more information follow this link.

SAIV

Dr. Eisler has written extensively on the subject of violence in our society and our relationships. All of her books are concerned with positive changes to our selves and our society to create the peaceful and sustainable world we want. For more information on our selection of books, visit our Library. Below is a selection of the many articles Dr. Eisler has written dealing with violence.

A Partnership Response to Terrorism

• Dark underbelly of the world's most 'peaceful' countries
  The Christian Science Monitor July 26, 2007 edition
• Pragmatopia: Revisioning Human Possibilities
  TIKKUN VOL. 19, NO. 6 - Nov/Dec 2004
• Spare the Rod
  YES! A Journal of Positive Futures Winter 2005
• Women's Issues Key to Peace
  International Women's Day is a good time to reflect
  A new article by Riane Eisler
• Nurture, Nature and Caring: We are not Prisoners of our Genes
• Article- Building Foundations for Cultures of Peace:
• The School for Violence: A conversation with Riane Eisler
  Interview by Helen Knode, LA Weekly,
  Vol. 23, Number 45, September 28-October 4, 2001
• Postwar Recommendations for Afghanistan Based on Equal Rights From WIN NEWS / Fran P. Hosken, editor,

Other articles pertaining to violence

• New Article! Human Rights and Violence: Integrating the Private and Public Spheres
• A Challenge for Human Rights
• Spiritual Courage
• Sacred Pleasure: Sex, Myth and the Politics of the Body

Gaza's suffering children

The Israeli occupation and its relentless attacks destroy the mental health and lives of children of Gaza, writes Saleh Al-Naami

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Click to view caption

A Palestinian woman holding a her country's flag and photos of some of the 9,000 prisoners held in Israeli jails during a protest calling for their release outside the International Red Cross building in Gaza

Every once in a while Ibrahim Hawash, 42, calls his wife Noha from his nightshift job to make sure that she has followed the treatment course prescribed by their family doctor for the involuntary urination of their four children, who are in primary school. The doctor says that the four children lost their ability to control urination due to the fear they underwent when Israeli army jets bombed a home near theirs in the Jabalya refugee camp in the northern Gaza Strip during the "Warm Winter" military campaign three weeks ago. The four children still remember the terrifying night when they woke frightened up to the sound of a thundering explosion in the area and found that the glass of their home's windows had fallen onto their bed. Hawash, who works in one of the Palestinian security agencies, says that his children refuse to sleep alone, insisting on sleeping in the same room as their parents because they are scared of the night. He adds that he exerted great efforts to convince two of his children to go back to school, for they were afraid that they would be killed in an Israeli bombing operation on their way there, or while at school. Thousands of Palestinian children have experienced what Hawash's four children are undergoing. Mohamed Kharsa, 10, lives in the Tufah neighbourhood northeast of Gaza City, which has been subject to severe Israeli attacks. He runs away to his family home whenever he hears the roar of Israeli planes in the sky.

"Whenever I hear the sound of a plane I feel it has come to bomb me," he told Al-Ahram Weekly. Aish Samour, director of the Psychiatric Hospital in Gaza, says that 30 per cent of Palestinian children under 10 years of age suffer from involuntary urination due to deep-seated fear, and mentions other nervous problems such as nail- biting, nightmares, bodily pains of unknown cause, crying and introversion.

"A child exposed to this much violence becomes violent in his interactions with his peers and siblings, and his condition lowers his educational level and weakens his ability to concentrate," Samour told the Weekly. He says that Palestinian children who undergo shocking experiences during invasions and Israeli bombings become less obedient to their parents and families.

Samour reports that his hospital currently receives 33 children a month, a 30 per cent increase over the previous year. Samour notes that 47 per cent of children are afflicted with psychological shock without their families realising it. "The children of Gaza are not children who live normal lives. They live with difficult psychological suffering from the practices of the Israeli occupation, and this has a negative impact on their lives, their psychological wellbeing, and their acclimatisation to life," he said.

Samour adds that the scenes and images of death, destruction, tanks, ambulances, children bombed, bulldozers uprooting trees, the funerals of the killed, and planes that drop missiles over homes and the smoke rising from them -- all of which are shown on television as well as witnessed in the events that take place around them -- seriously affect the psychological and nervous conditions of Palestinian children.

Samour holds that the only guarantee for alleviating Gazan children of this "wretched" reality is to end the occupation. According to a study conducted by the Gaza Community Mental Health Programme, each Palestinian child has been exposed to more than nine shocking events. The study says that 95.6 per cent of children have seen images of the wounded and killed, and 95 per cent have been affected adversely by hearing the sounds of explosions as a result of shelling.

Further, a total of 60 per cent of children have undergone moderate psychological shock, 6.7 per cent have undergone minor psychological shock, and 33.3 per cent have undergone major psychological shock. The study notes that 15.6 per cent suffer from minor post-traumatic syndrome disorder, while 62.2 per cent suffer moderately and 20 per cent severely.

Eyad Al-Sarraj, director of the Gaza Community Mental Health Programme, says that Palestinian children have lost the two most important pillars in their lives: a sense of security that has been lost due to raids, bombings and destruction, and a sense of joy and happiness that is a staple of childhood. He says that when a child sees his father, "impotent and incapable of providing security", the child feels immediately "estranged". He adds that according to data gathered in a study his institution undertook, 45 per cent of children studied said that they had seen occupation soldiers beat their fathers and insult them before their eyes.

"The fact that Palestinian children take refuge in Palestinian organisations reflects their desire to gain a new, strong identity that can protect them," Al-Sarraj says.

Al-Sarraj points out that matters are made more complicated by the fact that due to the Gaza siege, Palestinian children suffer from a chronic state of malnutrition that affects their intellect. This is reflected in the fact that 15 per cent of Gaza's children suffer from impairments in their intellectual abilities due to malnutrition. He adds that repression and violence accumulated within the lives of Palestinian children affect their creative capacities and push them to resort to extreme acts that reflect the pain and frustration they feel.

Al-Sarraj adds that nearly 36 per cent of male children between the ages of eight and 12, and 17 per cent of females, wish to die in attacks on the occupation army.

Faten Shekshek, a social guidance counsellor working in a programme offering psychological support to children affected by shelling, says that the scenes of violence, killing and destruction the children have experienced in the northern Gaza Strip, and particularly during the Operation "Warm Winter" campaign, have left serious psychological, behavioural, and physical marks on most children. This is particularly clear in the behaviour of children at the primary school stage.

Shekshek says that scenes of violence remain strong in the minds of students, and that this surfaces in their drawings, most of which depict jets, tanks, bulldozers, martyrs and destroyed homes and trees.

VA Official: More Than 60,000 Iraq, Afghanistan Vets Diagnosed With PTSD by Jason Leopold Page 1 of 2 page(s) http://www.opednews.com

Jonathan Schulze was awarded two Purple Hearts in 2005 after a lengthy tour of duty in Iraq.

But the Marine veteran couldn't escape the war inside his head.

Drugs and alcohol temporarily numbed his pain. Yet the guilt he carried around with him having been one of a handful of soldiers in his unit to survive combat was impossible to run away from.

Schulze was suicidal.

On January 11, 2007, he sought treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder. His parents drove him to the VA hospital in St. Cloud, Minnesota.

Schulze told the VA staff that he "felt suicidal," his mother, Marianne Schulze, recalled.

The hospital didn't admit him. Instead, he was told to call back the following day. He did. He was given a number: 26. The VA staff told him he'd have to wait at least two weeks to be admitted. Apparently, there were other veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan who were also suffering from PTSD. It's unknown whether they met the same fate.

On January 16, 2007, Schulze placed a framed photograph of his one-year-old daughter beside him. He wrapped an electrical cord around his neck and hung himself in the basement of a friend's house in New Prague, Minnesota. He was 25 years old.

This week, Schulze's story is being retold in a federal courthouse in San Francisco as evidence of the widespread, systemic failures by the Veterans Administration to treat tens of thousands of Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans who suffer PTSD.

Attorneys for two veterans advocacy organizations are hoping to convince a judge that a lawsuit filed against the Department for Veterans Affairs last year and several government officials associated with the VA should receive class-action status. In their lawsuit, Veterans for Common Sense and Veterans United for Truth, which represent about 12,000 veterans combined, claim Iraq and Afghanistan war vets are dying while waiting for the VA to treat PTSD and work through a backlog of at least half-a-million disability claims. The groups want Conti to issue a preliminary injunction to force the VA to immediately treat veterans who show signs of PTSD and are at risk of suicide.

PTSD is a psychiatric disorder that can develop in a person who witnesses, or is confronted with, a traumatic event. PTSD is said to be the most prevalent mental disorder arising from combat. According to the lawsuit, “more than any previous war, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are likely to produce a high percentage of troops suffering from PTSD,” due to the widespread use of improvised explosive devises, multiple rotations, the ambiguity of fighting combatants dressed as civilians, and the use of National Guard members and Reservists.

In their complaint, the plaintiffs' attorneys allege that numerous VA practices stemming from a 1998 law violate the constitutional and statutory rights of veterans suffering from PTSD by denying veterans mandated medical care.

"Because of those failures, hundreds of thousands of men and women who have suffered grievous injuries fighting in the ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are being abandoned," states the lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court for Northern California. "Unless systemic and drastic measures are instituted immediately, the costs to these veterans, their families, and our nation will be incalculable, including broken families, a new generation of unemployed and homeless veterans, increases in drug abuse and alcoholism, and crushing burdens on the health care delivery system and other social services in our communities."

VA attorneys had argued in court papers filed last month that Iraq and Afghanistan veterans were not "entitled" to the five-years of free healthcare upon their return from combat as mandated by Congress in the "Dignity for Wounded Warriors Act." Rather, the VA argued, medical treatment for the war veterans was discretionary based on the level of funding available in the VA's budget.

On Tuesday, the second day of testimony before U.S. District Court Judge Samuel Conti, Dr. Gerald Cross, the undersecretary for health at the Veterans Health Administration, made a startling admission during cross-examination by the plaintiffs' attorneys that would appear to contradict the agency's position.

Cross admitted that veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan were not only entitled to free healthcare, "there is no co-pay," he said.

Perhaps most startling, however, was testimony by Cross stating that of the 300,000 veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars treated at VA hospitals, more than half were diagnosed with a serious mental condition, 68,000 of which were cases of PTSD.

His testimony marks the first time a Bush administration official has provided detailed information about the psychological impact of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars on combat veterans. Cross testified that five years after the invasion of Iraq, the VA has still not completed a study on the link between suicides and PTSD among combat veterans. However, he said such a study is currently in the works and may be published soon.

Paul Sullivan, the executive director of Veterans for Common Sense, Paul Sullivan, said more than 5,000 veterans commit suicide per year.

Dr. Arthur Blank, a renowned expert on PTSD who has worked closely with the VA, testified that about 30 percent of Iraqi war veterans are likely suffering from PTSD due to multiple deployments and the VA is not doing enough to care for them.

"I think it's because of multiple deployments, which means one is exposed to trauma over and over again," Blank testified.

Last week, Daniel Cooper, the VA's undersecretary for benefits, who is named as a defendant in the lawsuit, abruptly resigned. Sullivan's group had called for Cooper's resignation two weeks ago in light of the huge backlog of benefits claims that have yet to be processed by Cooper's department.

Last August, the Pentagon's Inspector General revealed that Cooper used his government position to promote the work of a fundamentalist Christian organization, a violation of the laws governing the separation of church and state.

Cooper, and several high-ranking military officials, appeared in a promotional video for Christian Embassy, an evangelical organization that evangelizes members of the military and politicians in Washington, DC via daily Bible studies and outreach events. The group holds prayer breakfasts on Wednesdays in the Pentagons executive dining room, according to the organization's web site.

Mikey Weinstein, the founder and president of The Military Religious Freedom Foundation, whose organization called for a federal investigation after government officials were discovered to have participated in the Christian Embassy promotional video, said Cooper is a "disgrace."

"The D in Dan stands for disgrace," Weinstein said in an interview. "He's a disgrace to the United States Naval Academy, the United States Navy, the US armed forces, the Veterans Administration, and the United States of America. Why? Because we have him on videotape making it very clear to the world that the most important part of his job was to push the fundamentalist agenda of the Christian right over his specified duties at the Veterans Administration. Dan Cooper has used the United States Constitution as his personal roll of toilet paper. I wish him as much good fortune as he has provided to our honorable and noble veterans; none."

*************

Jason Leopold is senior editor and reporter for Truthout. He received a Project Censored award in 2007 for his story on Halliburton's work in Iran. Jason is the author of the National Bestseller, News Junkie, a memoir. He is the editor of BackgroundBriefing.org, a new online political magazine scheduled to launch in March. He can be reached at jasonleopold [at] hotmail.com.

see: www.iava.org!!

send them your dimes, your nickels, your quarters and one thousand bucks! They do more than all the rest put together on this AND homelessness among veterans.

http://www.opednews.com/maxwrite/showtags.php?tid=5025&tag=/Veterans+Mental+Healthhttp://ladybroadoak.blogspot.com/search?q=ptsd

http://ladybroadoak.blogspot.com/search?q=ptsd

http://www.opednews.com/articles/opedne_virginia_070620_about_bloody_time_2c_b.htm
My article about what it took to move the VA on this issue which ran in OpEd News

I did a whole series on PTSD and panic disorder, but my search engine doesn't bring them up????

Understanding Violence against Women
Maithreyi Krishnaraj

Violence can be visible or invisible or camouflaged in
moral terms. It is always a coercive instrument to uphold
or enforce cultural codes of honour. The articles in this
special issue have discussed different forms of atrocities
against women.

Violence accompanies power. It is committed to prove or feel a
sense of power maintained as an instrument of coercion.
Any individual or group facing the threat of coercion or
being disciplined to act in a manner required by another individual
or group is subject to violence. Though physical violence is
pervasive against women, it can take other forms which generate
an atmosphere of threat or reprisal. There are crimes specifically
directed against women like rape, sexual harassment, sexual
abuse, sexual exploitation, prostitution, domestic violence and
pornography. The forms may vary between cultures and settings,
but what is near universal is male violence far exceeds female violence.
During most wars and conflict situations, atrocities against
women are ways of asserting power over the enemy – to show the
other side cannot protect their women. We have our Partition
stories, and more recently, the Godhra carnage. Dalit subjugation
routinely takes the same form – by aiming at their women.
Violence is almost always a coercive instrument to uphold or
enforce cultural codes of honour. It can also be a show of resistance.
There are frequent reports about male members of families killing
the girl or boy who has violated norms of caste marriage or
contracting tabooed alliances like sagotra marriage. Upholding
honour is both an individual and community concern. Breaches
of caste hierarchy invoke stringent penalties on offenders –
atrocities on dalits are retaliatory measures for their exercising
what democratic rights bestow on them. Such upholding of
so-called honour also relates to gender roles within marriage.
Women have been the victims of patriarchal sexual practices
through exploitation by landlords during caste riots, in marital rape,
in state policies concerning reproduction, and of course, through
wife battering. Feudal practices existed where landed gentry demanded
“first night privileges”. Domestic violence is part of this
scenario of upholding socially sanctioned norms and practices.
An important aspect of the norm is male privilege to women’s
bodies within marriage. Rather than being exceptional it is symptomatic
of the sexuality of everyday life as women live it in the
context of marriage and family. Is violence a function of complex
patriarchal structures and, therefore, an uneven experience
which affects women in different ways? Or is violence an essential
aspect of a problematic of masculinity – a general masculine way of
being for which one can construct a common grammar? Husbands
(from narratives reproduced here as well as in many places) appear
to represent their familial, economic and social status and
power as well as their sense of themselves as husbands and men
by controlling their wives. Masculinity expresses itself in the
context of marriage through sexual demands.

More here .. with a great list of RESOURCES.